It has been a while since I have posted and I probably could complain a novel's worth on here but I won't.
Nobody wants to hear plain ol' bitching and complaining, even though, I'm sure some of you would relate to my complaints.
So, I have decided that I will make a list of all the things I am thankful for and the reasons why.
Here goes:
I am thankful for everyone who's ever been my friend. Even the ones who are no longer my friend. I am thankful that you at least gave me a chance for a while. Trust me, some of your words, thoughtfulness, and actions have saved my life. In some cases, more than once. I know that I'm not always the most diligent and visible friend (I don't always make shows or gatherings or parties or plans) but your friendship and invitations are much appreciated. That will never change. I just find it most comfortable for myself and my sanity to stay in my own environment a lot of the time, and also that my transportation (and sometimes funds) are often limited.
I thank my oldest friends for accepting and consoling me at my worst and celebrating and encouraging me at my best. Sometimes I don't know what those two things (best/worst) are anymore so sometimes I need you to let me know.
And for those who are no longer my friends. I remember the good times, no matter how bad they got. Sometimes two souls are just not meant to coexist.
I am thankful for my talents. There are many things that people have pointed out to me that I cannot do well but there are also many other things that I know and have been told that I do well or at least somewhat well.
Being a musician, a writer, crafter, and all around creative being are some things that I know I was put on this earth to do. It may not be profitable or practical or even have a valid point to some people's eyes but to mine nevertheless it is my reason for existing. A pure reflection of myself.
I cannot change the happiness these abilities give to me or transpose that happiness onto something else. Working a day job will never make me happy, unless I am the one that created that day job. The bewilderment I feel being forced to do something for monetary gain will never overshadow the joy I feel in being creative. Although, I must admit it is a constant struggle.
Last, but certainly not least, I am thankful for my ability to LOVE at all costs. Even when someone I love is being difficult or not understanding my intentions, I am thankful that I never give up on them. I wouldn't want them to give up on me would I? No, of course not.
"Do onto others..."
And even when what I love is hated and ridiculed by others, I still love it because it means something precious to me.
I am understanding more and more that what matters to me is all that counts and as long as I keep my intentions pure and positive, things should work out in good favor.
These things I am thankful for make me thankful to be alive.
And being alive is most certainly a good thing.
-L
