So here it is:
Hey Billy, It's William by Lisa M. Bello
Hey Billy, it's William. I'm getting tired of your childish games. When will you just grow up? This has been going on for three years now. I cannot simply stand by anymore. Every time you pick up that XBox controller you leave me behind. What could be more important than making sure that you have the money for the power bill or making sure that student loan debt gets paid off? You know one day you are going to wake up and realize that you should have listened to me Billy!
Hey! Are you there? Pick up and take responsibility!
I just can't stand by anymore while you use your Ivy League developed decision making skills to decipher which assault weapon to use in Call of Duty instead of choosing the next step in your business career. I don't care if reaching the next level in Angry Birds makes you happy! Use that mobile device to pay off that credit card balance! I don't think it's a good idea at all to be wasting your precious time like this. Your happiness does not pay for all those pizzas you consume on a weekly basis. A well paying job does! But that’s right Billy, we don’t have a job!
We can’t have fun all the time you know. Sometimes you have to take responsibility. Do you know what responsibility means Billy? I can read the definition to you from the dictionary if you are too lazy to look it up online or god forbid, read it in that old dusty dictionary on the shelf!
Here it is:
Merriam-Webster defines responsibility as, the quality or state of being responsible. That means moral, legal, and mental accountability Billy! Something you obviously care nothing about! Do you care about anything in our life?
Do realize that you have not been to the gym for three months? We bought that membership as a birthday present to ourselves remember? It’s too expensive be left unused! Have I taught you nothing? Do you think Martha would approve of this Billy? After all, I am the one who had to woo her into loving us. All of those fancy dinners out and nice gifts didn’t come from you Billy. They came from me. I, William Soul, did all that. When Billy Soul, the slacker, took over she decided to leave you! A six pack of beer and a pirated movie is not a lady’s idea of a good date night in case you didn’t notice.
This is why you can’t be left to your own devices Billy. This is why I have to continually check up on you. I must confess that we are getting too old for this!
You know what? I have decided that this will be my last contact with you. From now on, you’re on your own. Don’t call on me when the electricity gets turned off or the repo man comes to collect that awful car you drive. It’s time you learn some lessons on your own Billy. For now it’s goodbye. Have a nice life and don’t feel the need to call me back, not that you ever do anyway.
So until we meet again, I say: Goodbye Billy, William is no longer looking out for you.
If you want to read the other ones check out NPR's Three Minute Fiction website here.