So, the semester has started and I am sort of in a busy funk. Thinking way too much, but writing some interesting prose, poems, and what I like to call the bits-and-pieces of my unreleased and unfinished (yet!) series.
I feel simultaneously like I am not living up to my own potential and doing better than others who have chosen the same path.
I think the difference that separates these two variables is this:
The aspect of whether or not I care either way.
I am pursuing something that will make me relatively happy and it is a worthwhile goal, but there is that overwhelming sense of people not understanding why I am choosing to do this at this point in my life and the opposing crowd who says: "Why did you wait so long?"
I consider myself not indecisive, but a person who thinks about things for WAY longer than they should AND a person who has just enough confidence to START but not always enough to finish.
I think it is about time that I actually finish something. For me. If it inadvertently makes someone I love happy and "proud" of me then that is pretty superb, but not really necessary or even deserved.
Ugh. So, what is the point you say?
The point is: I care about what I think of what I have done. I do not care if anyone approves. Although, when someone does approve it makes the journey, struggle, and hard work a little bit more pleasant and less arduous.
I do because I can. And, because if I do not, no one else will.
And if they do, it would not be the same as if I do it.
PS. If you can understand this or if ANY of it resonates with your soul, heart, and/or brain. You are invited to have a drink with me. I'll take a Southern Comfort on the rocks with Rose's Lime Juice, what will you be having?