As I've mentioned before, I've never been comfortable completely in social situations.
But there are some people who are worse than I. I have a story of such a person.
I was waiting for the bus this morning at my usual bus stop, but the bus was extremely late. I usually catch it at around 7:05am but it was already 7:30am. I am looking down the block from inside the little NJTransit bus stop shelter. As I am looking for my wayward bus, I see a girl. She couldn't have been any older than 17. Shoulder length frizzy brown hair, squarish outdated glasses, and sallow pale skin. Upon seeing her, I get up from the bench to get a better look at the street to watch for the bus that was now 100% going to make me late.
She asks, in a low mumble, what bus I am waiting for. I tell her the 772 and I ask what bus is she waiting for, and she says the 175. I tell her that I saw one about 20 minutes ago and that my bus was extremely late and I leave it at that.
She proceeded to talk to me in her low mumble. I spoke in my regular voice.
The conversation went something like this...
She said, "Why did you get up like your bus was coming when you saw me?"
Me: "I have been sitting for a long time. I needed to get up."
She said, "I know why you got up. I know the reason."
I said, after thinking this statement odd and strangely provocative, "What's the reason?"
Her eyes shifted from me to the sidewalk, "Oh...um...I know the reason...I usually don't like to sit down when it's cold."
I wish I didn't sound so quick and maybe confrontational in my previous statement. I could see that this girl was really trying to be social but really having a hard time at it. I can remember when I was like that in my life. Later on I realized that being silent and anti-social was much better than facing all of that rejection I faced when my attempts to speak left me emotionally wounded.
But still... part of me wishes that I would have at least said "Goodbye" or "Have a nice day" or something to that effect when I left when my bus finally came.
I hope I didn't come off as mean or "too cool" to talk to her. I didn't mean it that way at all...
I guess my years of social awkwardness and the resulting behavioural changes are really starting to show.
Sorry mystery awkward girl. I really do know where you are at, even if I seemed like everyone else at the time.